Why I’m (Literally) Locking Up My Pregnancy Tests
If you’ve been trying to conceive (TTC) for any amount of time, you know how hard it can be to wait the full 2 weeks after ovulation before taking a pregnancy test. Because I often have very short cycles due to low progesterone, I’m frequently tempted to test much sooner than 2 weeks.
I’m also prone to early miscarriage.
I’ve done a lot to balance my hormones naturally. I’ve had a surprising degree of success with two beautiful babies to show for it.
But there are many other factors that can contribute to miscarriage. These potential factors include chromosomal defects and the fact that I’m still breastfeeding my youngest.
Even though I’ve tested early many times in the past, here’s why I’m locking up my pregnancy tests (literally!) and not testing again until my period is officially late.
1. I need to protect my own heart
Today pregnancy tests are so sensitive that we can get a positive result up to five days before we’ve even missed a period. While knowing early can be awesome and exciting if you’ve been trying for a long time, it can also cause a lot of heartbreak if that pregnancy ends in an early miscarriage.
I’ve personally had five early miscarriages now. It hurts to say that.
A couple of those pregnancies have lasted past the point when my period would officially be late. But the rest have been what the medical field terms “chemical pregnancies.”
Honestly, I hate the term “chemical pregnancy.” It makes it sound like you weren’t really pregnant; there was just some weird chemical thing going on in your body. But the truth is that a chemical pregnancy is still a miscarriage.
All “chemical pregnancy” means is that the miscarriage was too early for anything to show up on an ultrasound.
Chemical pregnancies are miscarriages that happen right around the time a normal period would. So unless you were testing early, you probably wouldn’t even know you were pregnant.
Miscarriage has changed my mind
There was a time when I wanted to know when I was pregnant, even if it was going to end in an early miscarriage. Five miscarriages later, my heart can’t handle the rollercoaster of emotions anymore.
Yesterday, I began to miscarry for the fifth time. In the midst of my grieving, I made the decision to lock up my pregnancy tests in our document box.
While I can still access the box, I’m hoping that the extra step of having to find the key and unlock the box will remind me of the pain of early loss.
I am locking up my pregnancy tests. I won’t test again unless my period is officially late. At that point, based on my past experience, the pregnancy is more likely to continue.
2. I need to protect the hearts of my loved ones
I believe in announcing your pregnancy early (at least to the people you love and care about). The people you love want to rejoice and pray with you. And our parents have said they’re glad we tell them even when the pregnancy eventually ends in miscarriage.
But every time we call our loved ones excited about a pregnancy only to have to tell them later that we’ve lost another one, we take them on that painful journey with us.
If we can save ourselves the heartache while also saving our family that extra heartache, it’s worth locking up the pregnancy tests. It’s worth waiting a little longer.
3. It doesn’t do me any good to know early
I’ve told myself in the past that it’s good to know early. That way I can get early tests of my hormone numbers and make sure everything is developing properly.
But after five miscarriages, I can tell you that doctors can’t do much about an early miscarriage. There’s no procedure you can do or drug you can take to make your body stay pregnant once a miscarriage has started.
Yes, there are ways you can balance your hormones. There are ways you can make your body less likely to miscarry. But you have to put those in place before you ever get pregnant.
It’s a personal choice
You may feel differently, and that’s OK. I used to believe I needed to know as soon as it was possible to know. And it’s incredibly hard to wait.
So I get it.
I’m a huge advocate for understanding our bodies. It’s why I love natural family planning and intend to teach my daughter all about how her body works. It’s why I know how to help my body with hormone balance.
But when knowing comes with zero benefit and potentially a lot of pain, I think I’m going to protect my heart and the hearts of those I love. I’ve decided to lock up my tests and not test any sooner than I have to.
How about you? Do you test early for pregnancy? Do you think there’s any reason you wouldn’t test early?
Did you find this post helpful? Please show it some love on Pinterest!